Lesley Shiver, LPC-MHSPIndividual Therapy for Deep Relationship Work
Lesley Shiver, LPC-MHSPWe all learn to adapt “safe” versions of ourselves to get through the painful parts of life. The adaptation is not the problem. It’s a solution, but it doesn’t have to be the only one…
Build a life of self sovereignty & self acceptance
In person in Knoxville, TN and online throughout Tennessee and Florida
Your Depth & Intensity Is Your Magic
What Makes You Different Is Your Magic
Adult Trauma Therapy
With a Touch of Magic & Whimsy
Strip Away The Layers Of Bullshit That Was Never Yours To Own
Cultivating Clarity & Curiosity
Therapy For The People Who Know They Want To Do Life Differently
In a world that tries to sell certainty as the only option or sign that you’re doing life “right”
For When Basic Therapy Just Barely Scratches The Surface
Who We AreYou're here because you and your partner keep having the same fights, over and over.
Your friends have heard all about it.
Your coworkers have heard all about it.
Honestly, you're starting to feel tired of hearing yourself talk about it!
All you know for sure is that something just isn't working.
And that you don't know how to fix it.
But you’re also so over living in this endless loop of fine one day, very much not fine the next.
You've read books. Listened to podcasts.
And watched more YouTube videos on relationships than you’d ever care to admit.
Maybe this looks like:
- Catching yourself shutting down or going quiet to try to keep the peace, but then feeling resentful afterwards.
- Finding yourself over-explaining, over-giving, over-functioning, even though it never feels like enough and doesn't stop the fights.
- Feeling so unheard that you eventually blow up, say things you regret, and spend the next several days apologizing and doing damage control.
- Noticing yourself slowly disappearing, disengaging from your partner and yourself—little by little—to avoid feeling overwhelmed by everything.
Now I’m not a couples’ therapist, but something I've learned personally as well as professionally over the years: the fights we notice keep happening are rarely actually about the dishes or the text that did or didn’t come.
Don’t get me wrong… those things can be valid and truly irritating scenarios, and we’re absolutely allowed to be pissed about them or disappointed!
But more often than not, those fights are actually masking something else going on underneath the surface.
And it might have something to do with the kind of relationship dynamics we were exposed to most often growing up.
Over time those dynamics can develop into formed beliefs about what it takes to be loved, to be safe, or to be good enough. And we go on to carry those beliefs into our adulthood, often living them out in relationships in real time.
Maybe you've even been to couples therapy. Which helped, kind of, for a while.
But the your couples therapist hasn't been able to crack the code… because the code isn't only playing out in the relationship.
Maybe you’ve wondered if anything from your past could be impacting your relationship now.
Or maybe it's a complete mystery, but you can’t help but feel like you’ve felt these things before.
I work with women and femmes in relationships who are done being the one who holds everything together and still ends up feeling alone.
Maybe you're not looking to leave the relationship you’re in.
But you're no longer willing to lose yourself in order to stay in it either.